Response to: “What are the tips and tricks to successfully potty train a 3 year old non-verbal autistic girl?”I’m not experienced with this scenario. I know that my kids did better when I described my experience (or how I imagined their experience might be): the potty is cold. I’m not used to using the bathroom for myself. I am learning to use my muscles to control my pee/poo. I am learning to listen to my body and respect the needs of my body to let go of what it’s done with. Taking time to go potty is an interruption. I don’t always want to stop, but taking care of my body in a timely way is important. As soon as I can, I want to only put pee or poo in the toilet. I might struggle, and I can practice and improve. I’m not stuck. This is new and uncomfortable and I’m not alone. I hear noises after I… Etc.
Response to: “Best advice to give a teen who is dating?”I study developmental psychology for fun. Gordon Neufeld has a lecture about how our brains are wired to connect to family first, then in childhood, adventuring helps us to connect to oneself (my/your/his/her individual self), and finally, in teens through early adulthood, to peers. Encouraging kids to bond to peers before the nervous system is ready undermines the child’s development — they miss out on the opportunity to learn how to depend on their gut/conscience as a guide and instead look to their peers, referentially, for guidance and validation… instead of developing self-awareness, self-validating and self-respecting priorities. In other words, kids in this situation miss out on developing a solid-self concept. Peggy Orenstein has some good books about the respective genders and sex. They discuss the attitudes and expectations common in popular culture today. If you are sexually conservative, the content will be distributing and is for the parents, not the teens. It will help you know what to prioritize and how to present info to help your child develop a healthy, shame-free sexual stage for life. Your attitude about your marriage, dating and sex is probably the biggest message your kids will receive about dating — and much of it is non-verbal. I teach my kids about emotional intelligence, mindfulness (a mode for self-awareness necessary for emotional intelligent practices), growth mindset, shame-resilience (connection, self-compassion), domestic violence (& what to watch for), socially-pressured pitfalls (addictive substances), secure attachment (avoiding enmeshment and encouraging differentiation), and my #1 hope is that they know to their bones that they deserve to be treated with regard, just like I teach them to regard others. I have additional book recommendations for these topics, if anyone is interested. Adult development is actually my real fascination. On that note— If you are interested in feminism, or are leery of feminism, I recommend the book Ejaculate Responsibily, just for your own social-sexual education. The idea that women have sex * for men* destroys passion and stunts female sexual development/potential. If we want to give our kids a better world, it’s on us parents to educate ourselves and teach our kids how to become equal partners, through our lived examples, and how we teach them to orient around their individual social attitudes and responsibilities.
Response to: “Can we start a big thread to talk about books?”The Book of Joy featuring Desmond Tutu and the Dali Llama Books by Richard Rohr, esp The Art of Letting Go. In it he says something like, we think religious education is enough, and what’s required is transformation.
Response to: “Is there anything you've given up minimized or banned from your home to make the house run smoother?”🚫🚫Slime! 🚫🚫 Buying multiple packs of cute socks, like 6 four packs, so it’s easier to find matches. Also, I have banned ignoring the wonder of a child’s token gift from nature (flower, rock, leaf, stick, etc). Even if it’s ordinary for me, it’s remarkable to them, and I can honor their perspective while keeping my practicality to myself. I am also learning to do this for my teenagers’ stories from school. Some day I will wish for more, so for today, I prepare my attention and focus so I’m ready.
Response to: “I need ideas for my husband’s 40th birthday! What have you done that was fun? We don’t want to go out of town or do anything too expensive. Thank you!”What’s nearby? What ages are being considered to attend? What time of year will you be celebrating?
Response to: “Women with PCOS, how do you manage your symptoms?”The Hormone Cure by Dr. Sara Gottfried is an amazing book to consult. Bioidentical progesterone helped me a lot, but it wasn’t that alone. It took a lot of changes in diet and cortisol before I started feeling better.
Response to: “Family Friendly Halloween Movies”Los Gatos Black on Halloween has a read-along movie my kids loved, which brought us to the book. I don’t remember where we saw the read-along(Reading Rainbow?), but I still love it! We probably borrowed it from the library. Book of Life is a favorite movie of mine. I don’t have many favorites. It’s about the underworld (where there is a celebration similar to El Día de los Muertos), love and redemption. It’s full of Mexican lore and fun animation and quality music. I second the Nightmare Before Christmas. Mr. Boogie is pretty creepy… but Jack’s unaligned benevolence is so relatable. Even good intentions can have detrimental outcomes, which is why we need to be cognizant of both when we make decisions and policies. Good intentions are not enough. The results/impact of our policies and actions also matter. Jack is so cute too. Like the original emoji, just on a stick.💀
Response to: “Busy activities for younger kids...”Kinetic sand boxes. There are cute mini sand toys on Amazon, or you could do fairy-garden or paleontologist excavator style. Large beads on strings. You can also do patterns prompts. Tannograms, marble runs, little games they can play together (paper, ping pong balls in bowls/cups). Crayola color wonder has a few media options (paint, markers, etc). My kids like the magnet toys (like Pixel art or lite-brite) that you use on top of an image. If using shows, you can have it be educational. The Preschool Prep Company has a ~$4 phonics video available on Prime and it really helped my kids prepare for reading (they have sight words, digraphs, math, too), also, the Leap Frog Letter Factory (we bought on it Google movie).
Response to: “What are your favorite early instruments for kids? And how do you motivate them to practice?”I have also heard this program is similar to LPM. https://belleameathome.com/ “Music together.” It’s geared towards homeschooling families, and I don’t know if it would accommodate or be priced well for those just interested in the music portion. Looks like premium (includes the music) is $700/year and provides many enriching classes. I am not sure if there’s an additional cost for participating with any of the material directly.
Response to: “What are your favorite early instruments for kids? And how do you motivate them to practice?”Violin is another instrument kids can start young. Suzuki is a popular teaching method (playing by ear) for youngsters. With enough practice, it can be as musically expressive as singing! 🎶 beautiful 🎼 I have a music conductor friend who has her littles learning to play cello on a Viola with a peg installed on the bottom. So cute! 😁🎻