Is there anything you've given up minimized or banned from your home to make the house run smoother?
9 answers
- sarahs2502
So this is not a thing per se, but I remember being in the waiting room for an ob appointment before my 2nd was born talking to another mom, she was having number 8. I told her I didn’t know how she could do it and was so amazed. She said what helped her most was being ok with things not being perfect. I definitely have seen what a big difference that’s been for me, trying to let go of perfectionism and controlling everything. I think so often as parents we look around and compare and think our kids need to be concert pianists and soccer all-stars and in this lesson and that program. All those things are absolutely great and wonderful and enriching, but there’s only so many hours in a day, threads of patience in a parent, and for most people money in the bank. We tried so many sports with my oldest, nothing fit, I felt like I must be doing something wrong when all his friends were joking comp teams for various sports, but then in jr high he finally found his thing, even though he had tried it plenty of times in his younger years, but in jr high it finally just clicked for him. So I’d say letting go of the comparing and expectations and perfectionism and just doing your best, knowing your best is enough, you are enough as a parent, that your love and encouragement is what your kiddo needs more than anything else, and that is enough, everything else is a bonus. Your kiddo is going to turn out awesome and exactly who they are supposed to be even if they aren’t the best at something, don’t make the team, or don’t do the program.
- ritu—sigh. I need to print this out and stick it on the kitchen wall because I lose sight of this all the time and it’s so stressful trying to keep every single thread perfect :(
- sarahs—@ritu its an ongoing battle for all of us, but you guys are such awesome, involved, loving parents and have fabulous kiddos!!
- rachel—@ritu My MIL always says “you are not raising a professional X.” Fill in what you want…soccer player, gymnast, etc. It helps me remember that all these activities are just supposed to be fun, not stressful. Sometimes it feels like my kids need to be in ALL the things and the best at all those things. And I have to consciously force myself to let that go over and over and over again.
- jsirenica3002
Ooh, I really love this question!
I’m a morning person. The thing that made me 3x happier about bedtime was filtering all the books and ONLY having books that I enjoyed (or at least pleasantly tolerated) reading available as bedtime books in my son’s bedroom. Because he is 3 and will love a book and want to read it every night 2 months in a row, and by bedtime I’m exhausted and will Absolutely Abhor going through the 100th rendition of Sandra Boynton’s Doggies. So now, every bedtime book is something that I’m happy to read and gives me a little energy, and all the annoying books are downstairs for daytime :'D
This is also a big one that’s really kid-dependent, but we also gave up on hands-on-support of arts/crafts/fine motor play because it is 10x more grownup and cleaning intensive than any other toy.
So we have an “adult assistance needed for cleaning” enclosable space on the far side of the house. There is no valuable furniture in there, for art there is just washable markers and stickers and cardstock. Small infinitely losable toys like legos and playmobils also go there. Only fine motor toys that we can let the kids loose on, nothing that relies on a keeping track of small valuable essential pieces. So the kids can annihilate that room, we don’t expect them to put things away, and we just go clean it up once every few months when there is energy.
In the meantime, our main living space becomes the gross motor and reading and big easy-to-put-away toys area, and we can keep it up with a few mins of cleaning every day.
rachel9802
A couple things I gave up:
Folding laundry: we hang up dresses and nice pants. But PJs, t-shirts, most of their pants, etc just get tossed in the respective drawer. Saves so much time.
Play-dough and Glitter: They are so messy and stress me out.
TV on weekdays: They can do educational games on the tablet, like IXL or math games or Epic! (we limit the total time) but no TV. It just make our lives so much more pleasant. My kids are happier kids with this rule.
- moni—This reminds me the glitter episode from Peppa Pig…. Glitter everywhere! 🤣 For some reason glitter has never made it to my home but I have banned play dough and slime for the same reason.
ale2451
We never really allowed watching TV during dinner. Both @moni and myself were raised this way (at my house growing up there was not a TV set where the dining table was) and it forced everyone to be present at the table and engaging in conversation (or just listening in silence, but you couldn’t just finish eating and leave, you had to be there for the whole meal). I now see how smart that was (unsure if intended or not, there wasn’t much to watch anyways those days lol!).
So unless we are doing a movie night and we are eating at the sofa watching TV together as an activity, there’s no screen.
But, recently we also banned TV / screens Mondays through Wednesdays even after dinner. We used to let them go watch a bit of TV post dinner while we did a half hour of cleaning up, prepping next days’ launches, etc. Now we just tell them they can do whatever (play, read) but no TV. It has been a huge difference as we now sometimes play together (eg board game) or they each go do whatever suits them even if they are tired.
We’ve also become a lot more ruthless with decluttering and having generally fewer toys. We involve them in finding the ones they don’t use anymore and explain they can be donated to other kids, etc; and we’ve found this also really helps them just appreciate more the (still plenty) toys they have or play just using their imagination. And the peace of mind we have by seeing the living room and not be a total chaos of toys everywhere is priceless, we feel we are re-gaining some sense of “calm” amidst the chaos.
- ale—PS the no screen rule goes out the window when in restaurants or on planes!
- moni—also I credit Ale for the latest and greatest rule. If they don’t help with cleanup, whatever was not cleaned up will go in the garbage or will be donated. It happened once, created big drama and now everything finds its place rather quickly when it’s cleanup time.
- ashesk50
It’s not for everyone but, video games! It has made a huge difference.
I also had so much overwhelm when I went back to work full time and changed up our laundry system. I don’t fold anymore! It hangs up or has specific baskets. That was a game changer!- Elliottmom4—I gave up on folding laundry and it’s amazing! My kids’ clothes never stayed folded anyway, so why bother?? We hang shirts, dresses, and “nicer” pants. Everything else just gets tossed into their drawers.