Response to: “What are the most important questions to ask when interviewing a nanny?”Oh I have such strong feelings about this. I have somehow hired a new nanny 5 times, because we have had 2 kids, moved cities, one nanny quit to have a baby, another had a circumstance change due to covid, etc. Anyway, the best question we found was not for the nanny, but during reference check, we would ask, “What type of family is not a good fit for this nanny?” Because all the references were always glowing, naturally, because the nanny’s previous families that she stayed a long time with by definition loved her. So they would say all the things like, “oh she was so caring with the kids they cried when she left” etc… but that’s literally what kids do with caregivers. So anyway, I found, “What type of family is not a good fit for this nanny” allows the reference givers to share actually distinct information without it being a criticism of their beloved nanny. So some answers I’ve gotten is, “If the parents are introverts, she likes to chat with the parents all the time.” “If the parents are socially distant and not effusive, she really relies on ongoing positive feedback.” And, perhaps, the most useful, “If you care a lot about things being clean”, as well as, “If you don’t have time to explain everything to her step by step.” So practical to know! :'D
Response to: “Is there anything you've given up minimized or banned from your home to make the house run smoother?”Ooh, I really love this question! I’m a morning person. The thing that made me 3x happier about bedtime was filtering all the books and ONLY having books that I enjoyed (or at least pleasantly tolerated) reading available as bedtime books in my son’s bedroom. Because he is 3 and will love a book and want to read it every night 2 months in a row, and by bedtime I’m exhausted and will Absolutely Abhor going through the 100th rendition of Sandra Boynton’s Doggies. So now, every bedtime book is something that I’m happy to read and gives me a little energy, and all the annoying books are downstairs for daytime :'D This is also a big one that’s really kid-dependent, but we also gave up on hands-on-support of arts/crafts/fine motor play because it is 10x more grownup and cleaning intensive than any other toy. So we have an “adult assistance needed for cleaning” enclosable space on the far side of the house. There is no valuable furniture in there, for art there is just washable markers and stickers and cardstock. Small infinitely losable toys like legos and playmobils also go there. Only fine motor toys that we can let the kids loose on, nothing that relies on a keeping track of small valuable essential pieces. So the kids can annihilate that room, we don’t expect them to put things away, and we just go clean it up once every few months when there is energy. In the meantime, our main living space becomes the gross motor and reading and big easy-to-put-away toys area, and we can keep it up with a few mins of cleaning every day.
Response to: “Favorite bento / lunch box for school days?”Our Bentgo box survived being run over by a car. In appreciation, I promised the karma gods that I would bring this up the next time someone asked me about lunch boxes, so I guess this is my moment :'D
Response to: “What advice would you give yourself as a first-time parent?”Okay, so this is a funny one, but the #1 piece of advice I wish I had gotten as a first-time parent that I did get from the loads of books/discussions/etc is: Spend as much money as you have to to buy great baby coats that you adore. Invest in coats like a top priority cost. Because 80% of your photos of your child will be taken in these coats (more photos outdoors, especially from other caregivers). That means that years later, like half your visual memory of your kids’ babyhood will be in these coats. Don’t, like me, buy one cheap $20 chartreuse puffer that somehow lasted 2 years and features in every damn image we have :'D
Response to: “What’s the most important part of your bedtime routine with the kids, and why?”I think for us it’s intimacy? I get the feeling we have an unusually long bedtime routine, about 30 mins per child (we have 2 kids and split who does which one). A lot of the time, this seems to be the time of day when the kid processes their feelings with us and confides in stuff they wouldn’t normally want to talk about. Especially since we have hyperactive / neurodivergent kids, a lot of the time the day is just filled with ongoing stimulation, so bedtime becomes when they calm down enough to check in and connect. On one hand, it is a pain to pretty much be out of pocket from 7:30 - 9pm every night (including time for baths, chasing them around, etc), but on the other hand, it’s just so valuable I can’t imagine training them to do it in 10 mins.
Response to: “We LOVE Halloween. What are your favorite places to find decorations for a reasonable price (and if you’ve seen cool stuff that’s a good price this year feel free to link them 😉)”I know this is cheesy and unhelpful, but fb, michaels, and store sales after Halloween :'D
Response to: “Trying to get a handle on laundry....how do you keep it under control without it controlling you?”Okay, here’s our maximally low effort laundry system: 1. 1 - We don’t own whites. (Other than special occasion items.) The ones we do own I accept will just get vaguely stained over time and they’re kids so whatever. 2. 2 - Everyone’s laundry is done separately, so there is no sorting. Each person in the house has completely separate laundry baskets, laundry days, etc. 3. 3 - We own a preposterous number of single-load cheap hampers with sturdy handles. These are NOT bags that have to be removed and re-hung to an attractive hamper setup, they are free standing baskets that have their own space in the corner of the room. 4 - Every child has THREE separate hampers that are color coded by child— one in their bedroom upstairs, one either in their bathroom or as a backup clean one to rotate in, and one downstairs. (The downstairs setup is just a set of 4 smaller vertical hanging baskets with labels, so it doesn’t take up much space). Adults just have one basket in their room because they’re capable of putting their own clothing in it, but it’s still separate from each other. 4. 5 - Whenever clothing is removed, it instantly goes in the corresponding person’s closest hamper. (Or, at minimum, all clothing is put into hampers in the end of day light pickup.) Dirty clothing that returns home from school also goes in the downstairs hamper at backpack check time. This is the only sorting that is ever done. 5. 6 - Every morning as the kids are having breakfast, either adult will just gather up all the laundry of the most-in-need-of-laundry person. They grab one of the upstairs baskets, merge it with the other baskets of the same kid, and toss it in the wash. The pacing of this is, it’s usually about a single load. Then later that day, whoever has time puts it on to dry, and then puts the basket of clean laundry all belonging to the same child back in that child’s room. 7 - We don’t fold clothing for kids. 8 - On less busy weeks, someone (parent, older kid, younger kid with help) will quickly sort and stuff the clean laundry back in that kid’s drawer. On more busy weeks, we just dig clean clothes out of their basket each morning. 9 - Every kid ends up getting washed 1-2x per week, and every adult once a week (or occasionally every other week if busy). It’s an upfront invest in baskets, but it reduces laundry to literally 15 mins a day. (5 mins to gather and start it, < 10 mins to sort, trivial to change machines and bring back upstairs.)
Response to: “Salads...”I’m Chinese, so culturally the idea of serving vegetables without bothering to cook them was appalling. It took me until middle age to even a little bit understand salad. The way I currently conceive of salad, from scratch, is: a) what combination of kind of random chopped up ingredients (NOT leaves) would I enjoy eating together? Eg, for me, I tend to like something like avocado, sausage, onions, tomatoes, etc. b) what leaves can I stand, or even mildly enjoy, to eat raw? I tend to favor baby arugula or spring mix personally, but there’s lots of options now. c) is there 1-2 super healthy things I can add in there that won’t kill the vibe? Eg, microgreens, seeds, etc. d) Once I conceive of this thing as a whole, does it need some sort of sauce (ie, dressing) to be cohesively edible from a flavor (not texture) perspective? If so, add that dressing. If not, just add olive oil and salt / oil and vinegar. I am pretty sure I have still completely missed the cultural essence of actual salad, but this algorithm is what got me to enjoying them instead of avoiding them :'D
Response to: “Best water bottle for toddler? Seems like such an easy purchase but we’ve already gone through several and she is only 2”I have very strong feelings about this. Which is that, we discovered that water bottle ergonmics makes a night and day difference in how much water our toddler drank. So, our kid had really bad eczema for over a year. We tried everything— creams, and lotions of many brands and prescription varieties, elimination diets, etc. The thing that made the difference was… Switching from a munchkin 360 to a fun water bottle (we got a thermos funtainer). Apparently she was just drying out constantly due to the very simple reason of lacking water. It’s actually a lot of work to get water out of a 360 bottle, and you get a little at a time. A straw-based water bottle that is physically fun to open and close and use feels like a Big Kid Item and both kids drank from it CONSTANTLY. I don’t swear by this brand as such because there are a lot of brands that fit these requirements (and the funtainer is inconvenient because it spills if stored horizontally), but the fact that it is incredibly durable and incredibly fun to open and close by yourself as a 2 yo really does matter.
Can we start a big thread to talk about books?What are your “hidden gem” favorite books at various age groups and why? (Ie, stuff that isn’t in the top 20 that everyone has these days.) What kids books do you have a grownup beef with? Any especially useful books for unexpected purposes or illustrating an important, less-talked-about phenomenon?8 answers
How do you organize output/transitions in your art room?We have a 6 yo and a 3 yo. I understand the basics of how to organize art SUPPLIES for kids, and there’s a ton of inspiration out there for it. But what do you do about output? Including: - Art created that you want to keep - Half-made art that you probably don’t want to keep but a kid would never suggest getting rid of - Partially finished projects that may or may not return - Broken markers, etc And I want to be clear, this isn’t PRIMARILY just the eternal “what do you do with all the art” question. Ie, we have a wall for hanging things, though don’t rotate it very often, but we also have boxes for saved art. It’s more like, what is your overall system & physical setup for handling all art room objects that are not pristine supplies? - How do you decide keep vs save vs partially finished? - Do 90% used sticker sheets stay around until the last stickers are gone? - What workflow is sustainable to keep it organized? - Is physical space dedicated to these liminal phases of art, rather than just supplies and worktop and storage? - What do you do with 3d art? - Between art being made by a child with minimal supervision, and an adult being available to hang it or put it in an archive, what happens? Thank you!! :)2 answers