What are the most important questions to ask when interviewing a nanny?
8 answers
Oh I have such strong feelings about this. I have somehow hired a new nanny 5 times, because we have had 2 kids, moved cities, one nanny quit to have a baby, another had a circumstance change due to covid, etc.
Anyway, the best question we found was not for the nanny, but during reference check, we would ask, “What type of family is not a good fit for this nanny?”
Because all the references were always glowing, naturally, because the nanny’s previous families that she stayed a long time with by definition loved her. So they would say all the things like, “oh she was so caring with the kids they cried when she left” etc… but that’s literally what kids do with caregivers.
So anyway, I found, “What type of family is not a good fit for this nanny” allows the reference givers to share actually distinct information without it being a criticism of their beloved nanny.
So some answers I’ve gotten is, “If the parents are introverts, she likes to chat with the parents all the time.” “If the parents are socially distant and not effusive, she really relies on ongoing positive feedback.” And, perhaps, the most useful, “If you care a lot about things being clean”, as well as, “If you don’t have time to explain everything to her step by step.” So practical to know! :'D
- perla—Gteat Question!!! Will use it this week :-)
- jon—yeah this is brilliant. thanks!
- EMucha—Brilliant!! This is a powerhouse question that I will forever more use.
EMucha3853
In my experience with caregivers, it’s easy for the nature of a routine to create its own kind of blah inertia. Sure, there’s stability, but it slowly starts to feel like a burden for everyone (isn’t this why we all need vacations as adults?). There are so many important questions to ask, but one of my favs is: “In our family, we value creation over consumption and learning and experimentation in how we grow and develop. How do you spark curiosity in a child’s day among busy schedules and routines?” This feels so critical to me in keeping kids kids, even with everything going on. You can tell a lot about how invested a nanny is by the quality of the answer on this one.
- jon—i love this one! it’s hard to break that routine, but it’s really where a nanny can add so much value. parents are working all day and sleep-deprived, so if the nanny can bring energy and creativity it changes the dynamic a lot.
rachel8302
After going through several nannies, my favorite technique to interview was to have each of my kids ask at least one question. And the questions were often silly, and the specific content of the responses typically didn’t matter (I didn’t care for example what their favorite color was or what their favorite animal was). What was very telling was who the nanny directed their responses to and how seriously that question was taken. Did they look my kid in the eye and respond or did they look at me and respond? Did they just give a simple answer, brushing it off like it didn’t matter? Or did they take it seriously and talk for a moment (about their favorite animal, and why it was their favorite animal for example). It gave me amazing insight into how they would respond to and interact with my kids.
moni190
I think a lot of it is on the chemistry with the kids. I usually try to keep my kids around when interviewing and just see how they interact, kids pick up on “kid friendly” energy super quick. If possible a paid test of a few hours in the evening is a great way for both parties to get to know each other and ask questions.
jon190
we’ve hired 6 nannies over the last 6.5 years! 4 we kept as long as we could, but 2 weren’t the right fit for our family. those 2 hires were painful mistakes for everyone involved — and that’s after thorough interviews and references. so it’s definitely not easy.
a few of our lessons learned:
it’s really important to know what you want the nanny to do. most candidates are great at the basic “keep the kids safe and busy” job, but the best candidates bring one or more “extra” skills: helping out around the house, cooking, teaching, activities. it’s good to be clear about what you expect/need!
over the years, we realized that our ideal profile is almost like a developmental “coach” for the kids, so we updated our target profile to include relevant education and focused our questions mostly on values and childhood development. our favorite question is situational: we talk through a (real!) fear that one of our kids has overcome and see how the nanny would have approached it. we go back and forth and ask follow ups so we can get some nuance.
it’s a serious job. it seems so obvious, but we didn’t internalize this at first! during our first interviews, we asked a few obvious questions but didn’t go very deep. we got so lucky with our first hire! but we weren’t always so lucky, and over time we realized that our nanny is a trusted part of the family, and spends a LOT of time with our kids, and we want them to take the responsibility seriously.
in particular, we need rock solid communication between parents and nanny. one question that has helped us catch issues early is: “tell us about a time you made a big mistake. how did you handle it, and what did you learn?” simple but effective.
always do a work trial. this probably goes without saying, but no matter how great your interview questions are, you won’t really know whether it works until the nanny spends a day (or two!) with your family.
good luck! a great nanny adds so much to a family.