What’s the most important part of your bedtime routine with the kids, and why?
Bedtime is high stakes: play your cards wrong and it could be a very late night for everyone. To help the kids calm down and get ready for a great night, a consistent routine is key, and it’s also a chance to sneak in some cozy bonding time.
Would love to see what works for all of you!
6 answers
There are a few parts bedtime that’s been so rewarding and connecting for our family, and it’s definitely not teeth brushing time. 🤣
When my kiddos were little, at their bedtime they got to choose 3 picture books for me to read to them. They loved getting to choose, I loved that there is no asking for more books, and we both loved the time it give us to snuggle and connect. Now that they’re a bit older we still read, but usually a chapter of a book as a family. We also take a few minutes to talk individually, and as they’ve gotten older that might be my very favorite part of tuck in. It takes a little more time, but I feel like they are most likely to open up when we’re winding down and when we’ve just connected with books and snuggles.- jsirenica3002
I think for us it’s intimacy? I get the feeling we have an unusually long bedtime routine, about 30 mins per child (we have 2 kids and split who does which one). A lot of the time, this seems to be the time of day when the kid processes their feelings with us and confides in stuff they wouldn’t normally want to talk about.
Especially since we have hyperactive / neurodivergent kids, a lot of the time the day is just filled with ongoing stimulation, so bedtime becomes when they calm down enough to check in and connect.
On one hand, it is a pain to pretty much be out of pocket from 7:30 - 9pm every night (including time for baths, chasing them around, etc), but on the other hand, it’s just so valuable I can’t imagine training them to do it in 10 mins.
- sarahs—Love this answer! That time is precious, and parents and kids can connect in shorter times amounts depending on parents and kids needs and timeframes. Whether it’s an hour or 10 minutes that connection is so valuable. And as they get older it will naturally shorten. You can soak it in now while still looking forward to more independence in the future. I like to remind myself that nothing lasts forever.
rachel8302
Reading. Once my kids are all in bed, and the lights are off, I sit in the hall outside the two rooms and read out loud. We’ve read all sorts of amazing books this way, and have wonderful conversations about what’s happening in the books. It calms them down and creates a special time right before they fall asleep.
ale2451
There’s a lights on and lights out two-part routine. While the lights are still on (putting them in PJs, brushing teeth, ensure they go pee) we might do some play —I know, counterintuitive, you’d think you are getting them all rattled but that final release of energy then really helps calm them down! and it’s so much fun—
Once we turn off the lights we might do story time (we each make up a story and tell it out loud) or reading (together or now individually they get to pick a couple of books each). At some point is quiet time and I typically will stay with them while they actually fall asleep
If they’ve had a super busy and fun day they can fall asleep more quickly. If they had a long nap… well, I need to remind myself that it’s actually great that they want me in the room even if the whole thing takes more than 1 hour sometimes! Since I know it won’t last forever. And I just try to enjoy that moment and not letting my mind be stressed that I still need to clean dishes or do some work or whatever. Not easy, but when I can truly be present it’s pretty special
EMucha3853
+1 to all the things. I also love literally tucking them in. Pulling up their covers and giving them a kiss or rubbing their back or cheek for just a minute while I tell them three things I love about them, or list all the people that love them, or tell them what I saw them working hard on that day is the best.