Let’s talk Santa. How long did your kids keep believing?
I feel like my oldest are close to the end of this magical believing phase. When your kids stop believing? And how did that work? Did you have a conversation or did they figure it out? and if you could do the believing stage again, is there anything you would do differently during that stage and/or as when ends? I just want to make the most of the time I have left
5 answers
EMucha4153
We’ve always told our kids that Santa is nearly the whole world’s favorite game of pretend. It’s amazing and super fun to imagine and pretend that there’s this magical person who can spread so much cheer and kindness (so fun that nearly all adults and kids want to play), but equally amazing that it’s actually just the power of everyone showing a little extra love and kindness and they get to be part of that magic, too. I love the idea that collective small efforts make a difference is made tangible in Santa. That doesn’t help you hold on to the believing, but is maybe a way to preserve some of the magic, even without the belief.
- EMucha—Another idea might be: There’s Certainly a Santa https://a.co/d/ghYtz27
- rachel—This looks so cute. Thanks!
- christyb50
I don’t even know for sure when they stopped believing… I think both boys may have pretended to believe for our sakes longer than they really did, like just played along because it was fun. Maybe around age 10, maybe earlier? I don’t remember any truth-revealing conversations. Possibly the younger one asked the older one and we weren’t even involved in him finding out. It was definitely fun for the older one to help “be” Santa for the younger one for a few years. He didn’t know what we were putting in stockings but he might help choose a few Santa gifts when we were out shopping to put under the tree, and help us do some wrapping.
We never made a huge deal out of Santa, we talked about Santa bringing gifts and read all the stories and went along with them but it wasn’t a huge effort or focus. Like we didn’t use separate wrapping paper or even have the kids write letters to Santa. Santa photos were just not our thing. I remember my older son talking about how all the mall Santas were pretending, not the real Santa, which I thought was funny since I didn’t tell him that. BUT all those things can be fun for those who want to do them. I probably wouldn’t change anything because as far as I know we’re all satisfied with how our holidays have gone. I do remember answering the boys around the age of discovering, “well it’s fun to believe there’s a Santa Clause isn’t it?” Or turn it back to them e.g. “who do you think stuffs your stockings on Christmas Eve?” as a way of extending the magic a bit without outright lying when they ask if Santa is real.
I hear about some kids being traumatized when they find out their parents “lied” to them. I didn’t feel that way as a child (Santa was also casual fun in my family growing up) and I don’t think my kids did either, but apparently it happens. On the other hand, I hear about some adults who feel like they missed out on the magic because their parents never pretended there was a Santa. So… I guess you gotta do what you think is best and I don’t believe there is one right way to do it that fits every family.
- rachel—Santa isn’t huge in our house. He brings one present for each kid and the others all from Mom and Dad. So from that perspective it won’t be super impactful. But I think just the magic of Santa is pretty great for them. My twins are 8 and they definitely still believe because one of them wants something that is outside our budget and I heard him say to his sister — it’s too expensive for mom and dad, I can’t ask them, but maybe I’ll ask Santa. 😂 I’ve done similar questions where I’ve never explicitly told them Santa is real, but I’ve let them believe it…so I don’t know that they really process I haven’t said it, you know?
My husband never allowed me to have the Christmas believing of Santa for my kids. He straight up told them the moment they heard about Santa that he didn’t exist. The best think I could come up with was say Santa is a symbol and example of the spirit of giving. Instead of receiving from Santa we try to be like Santa who ultimately is also trying to be like the Savior and Heavenly Father.
So, since you already have believers, you can teach them to begin trying to give like Santa gives.- rachel—I love the idea of focusing on the spirit of giving, and that is real.
I had planned to do a special day out with my oldest to tell him and invite him to be a Santa’s helper, but he found out at school before I got it all set up. He was 6 and I really wish I would have told him sooner, but we still went out and I had him watch a little YouTube video about the origin of Santa and the idea behind giving gifts and took him to pick out some stocking stuffers as his role of Santa’s helper. He loved that and really loves being a Santa’s helper.
- rachel—That’s my fear! My two oldest are in second grade, and still believe. I don’t want them to feel silly at school in conversations, but I also love the magic of their sweet beliefs, you know? Do you have a link to that youtube video by chance?
mamajen210
When my kids questioned I told them that anyone can be a santa if they want to do kind things secret. I let them start helping to fill stocking & it’s their favorite! They were probably around 9.
- rachel—Shoot! My oldest are 8 1/2! I think they are beginning to suspect, but I’m just not sure where to go from there. But having them fill stockings is a great idea. We have a nonprofit in our neighborhood that does stockings for low income families. Maybe having them do that, and deliver it to that group would be a good idea. Then you really are Santa like because the stockings and their content is a surprise for these families.